You know those mysterious, mysterious creatures who are active online and post plenty, but never about themselves? For all you know, they were trained at the Ninja Academy (which may or may not be a real thing) - they pop in and out, never for long enough to get a hold of them and shake some solid personal facts out of them?

We are those Ninjas. (Or not. Depending on whether the Ninja Academy is a real thing.)

It has recently come to our attention, however, that in order to see our current mission through, it is imperative that we prove our non-robotic nature and reveal some non-compromising facts about ourselves and our bookish existence. It is therefore that this Tuesday we have sat down and come up with some. 

Marvel in our weirdness! And then tell us your own, because quid pro quo, and because we need to be reassured despite our potential ninja-status that we are not alone in this.


1. I tend not to recommend my favorite books

Case in point: Natalie has yet to read a Maggie Stiefvater book, while I'm sitting here, never shutting up about them. But when a friend finally reaches for one of my favorites, I yank it out of their hands and hide it. IT'S GOING TO FRAY MY NERVES AND THERE'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON MY FRIENDS TO LIKE IT, AND I'VE HYPED THE BOOKS UP TOO MUCH, AND NO. How will our friendship survive if they dislike The Raven Cycle?!

2. I'm a phase-reader

You know when you're in a mood? I am in a phase. I was a (gloriously dramatic) poet for a year. I was a (gloriously laughable) painter for a year. I was a (gloriously pretentious) philosopher for a year. (In my defense, this was all high school.)
The way this affects my bookish habits is simple (and glorious). I am not a mood reader. I won't gobble up a horror novel one day and a mushy romance the next. That sort of flakiness I reserve for my grocery shopping. (Same ketchup twice? With so many other options out there?!) With books, I'll be in a horror/thriller/paranormal phase for a year, then graaaadually make a shift towards something else. Except fantasy. Fantasy is eternal.

3. I dread movie adaptations

Now, if you're thinking so does everyone else, you are wrong. BASK IN THE DEPTHS OF YOUR WRONGNESS! As soon as a book I love gets optioned for a movie, the overwhelming number of people are... right over there, in the distance. You might see them. They're shouting from the rooftops. They have fireworks and wine coolers and they're about to party like it's 1999. Me, I'm just here... in my blanket fort... dreading. And wishing books could sometimes just stay books. Please?

4. I grew up reading adult thrillers, fantasy and classics

Then discovered YA in my late teens. Funny how that works out. It's almost like I'm backwards.

5. I'm bilingual, but I only read in English if I can help it

Apart from English, of which I am the unprecedented lord and master (as evidenced by my love of run-on sentences and bracket abuse), I also speak Serbian fluently. It's a teeny, tiny language from a teeny, tiny country in a teeny, tiny forgotten part of Europe which... basically gets mistaken for Russia a lot. And it isn't entirely without reason. Publishing in Serbia has long since lain down and played dead, though, so nothing good ever gets published. Translation is, meanwhile, still going both strong and wrong. So I just don't bother. (Though I do lament that the world at large will never get to bask in the gloriousness that is Hajduk, a 4-book Middle Grade series of pure hilarity and mayhem.) I've also found I can read a book in French and Spanish, but I save it for the times I really need to show off (the bigger that foreign title on the cover, the more worldly I seem). Bare with me, it's the only time I get to appear worldly.

6. I have bottled the essence of NaNoWriMo and sell it for a low, low price of your soul

I mean... technically I've only won three times. But there was that one year I lurked on the fringes in a dark coat and scared the legitimate participants every time they looked out their windows. What I was actually doing was being unable to silence my inner chicken and writing alongside NaNoWriMo without actively participating in NaNoWriMo. So that, like, totally counts. And since I'm counting each win as a double-participation... I've participated so many times. As others wrote peacefully, I (literally) fumed in my Dark Lab of Overlordness, working on bottling NaNoWriMo's essence. And as of yesterday, I have succeeded. It's up to you whether you consider the price worth it. But really, souls don't even do anything. A soul is like your appendix. You'll never even miss it. NaNoWriMo victory, on the other hand...

7. I have an anti-hero problem

It's exactly what it says on the bottle ahem, label. Nothing sells me on a book faster than a promise of a truly delicious ahem, morally ambiguous anti-hero therein. It's a problem and I love it. All attempts to reason with me have failed. I know they're problematic! I know The Darkling was a piece of work! I just happen to like pieces. And work. Sometimes. If it's ethically dubious. I'm basically Tony Soprano of the book world. (If Tony Soprano was a potential ninja.)

8. I don't like epilogues in books

I can't quite put it into words. Which, as a book blogger, is all kinds of awkward. We've tried and tried again, Epilogue and I. We've given it chance after chance. It was too clingy, I was unable to say no, it showed up uninvited, a few times I called it by the wrong name (fanfiction; that was awkward), it always claimed I was jaded, I always claimed it was cheesy... there was no winning there. So we've decided to see other people. It's not you, Epilogue. It's me.

9. I stalk my favorite authors

Put that phone down, don't bother 911. I actually have no desire to pry into their personal lives, nor to go stake out their house. But the instant I discover a book I OBSESS-LOVE, I will follow its author on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, Bloglovin, Instagram, their personal websites and everywhere else they share insights into their glorious minds. I also have a good memory, so I tend to remember everything they've ever written/said on there verbatim. Yes, I'm creepy. I'm okay with that.

10. My living space is a holy mess creative chaos, but my bookshelves are pristine

*moves book a quarter of an inch forward* Ah, there. Now it's perfect. Tomorrow I send you all to the living room while I dust and polish your home. Deal?

1. I'm a morning reader

I don't know how weird this is, but I prefer to read when I've just woken up. Y'know, the sun is shining, I have my morning cup of tea and I'm wrapped in my duvet, warm and alert from a long night sleep. I have no idea why, but I prefer it to reading at night. Nighttime has distractions. Try, Netflix, Internet or just anything that's not a book.

2. I'm also a hairdryer reader

I mentioned this to my colleague and they thought I was strange. I read when I dry my hair. "But how?" Easy. Either lean it against something, or dry with one hand. I'm a woman, so I can multi-task. Also, it's precious reading time.

3. I buy more books than I read

In case you're not aware - I have a book buying problem. So, when I'm out and about, I tend to buy books that I know I won't read for ages. Unless it's a highly anticipated one. So they just pile up. And up. And up. And now I have no freakin' room! I kind of want to be cured but I don't...

4. I skim the book before reading

Please don't judge me on this, because I hate that I do it, too. When I'm about to go into a book, I'll just flick through the pages (yes - even near the back) and then go to the front and start. Do I want to be spoiled? Hell no! Why do I do it? I've not a clue. I just have a look at a line or two, see what's going on. I hate myself.

5. If I'm not into the book by the first few chapters - I'm out

Yeah, if this book hasn't grabbed me instantly - I'm done. I will DNF it and move on. Life is to short to read bad books. I don't have a lot of patience, so this was bound to happen. I could be reading something epic instead, not this rubbish. When I hear that people didn't like it but read the whole thing, maybe even the rest of the series, I'm like '... are you for real? HOW did you even?' that baffles me. I also admire you. 

6. I like to read at a table

Is this weird? Probably. I do tend to read better while sitting at a table. Maybe it's due to being used to it, as I used to read at work on my lunch break a lot. Now I'm at a different job with hardly any lunch break, it's not so easy now. But I still do love to read while sitting at a table. I'm such a freak.

7. No Kindle, No Happy

If I'm out the house without my Kindle, I'm not a happy bunny. What if I have a spare 10 minutes? What if I'm delayed somewhere? I need to read something! I can't leave my baby at home alone, abandoned and unread. No way. Kindle or go home. I usually have a book and my Kindle, but as long as my baby is in my bag, it's all good.

8. I never know my mood

I never know what genre mood I'm in. I'm finishing a book and I'm so unsure of what I should read. I never know. What am I in the mood for? No, not that. I don't even know anymore. HELP. I'm so indecisive with that, and sometimes I wonder if I'm ever in the mood for any genre. Shall I just read the dictionary? Hmm actually... nah. Make a decision, Natalie!

9. House of stacked books

My place is actually covered in books. No room on the bookshelf? No problem! Just put it somewhere that is reachable. Like the kitchen table. Like the bedside table, like the chair in my bedroom, like the coffee table. Like the hallway. THE LIST GOES ON. It's now a problem.

10. I'm a fussy reader

I'm super fussy. There's usually something in a book that bothers me, and I'm now at that point when I try not to include it in my review, as it's just being so picky. There are words that make me take stars off because they piss me off so much, and types of protagonists that irritate me to no end. If I read a synopsis for a book and there's one thing that bothers me - NOPE. Not reading. I should be more flexible, I know. Open your mind, Natalie! You're too fussy.

Are we insane? Possibly. Are these insane personalities just a cover for our undercover ops? Possibly. Either way, we've embraced it and we're running with it as it is.

Share your weird bookish habits with us in the comments! Let us know we aren't the only loose canons in this artillery. Or find us on social media, where our madness and bizarre habits run rampant.