There's reality, and then there's our reality. Sometimes the two align perfectly. But we read fantasy, tame dragons and battle evil overlords in our spare time. So sometimes they don't.
This top 10 is one of those times.
In reality-reality, people like their tools and gadgets sturdy and durable (
The wand chooses the wizard, Mr. Potter. But this week, for one and only time, the
1. Wands (Harry Potter) - joint pick
Wands, as Olivander is sure to inform you, are useless to all but the magically-gifted. Thank god, then, for our prodigious magic skills which would blow your mind. With a wand. And a well-practiced jinx. In the wizarding world of Harry Potter, wands are indispensable tools for any and all magic performed. (For demonstration of the plight of the wandless wizard and further reading, see: Ron in The Chamber of Secrets.) The movies may have taken some liberties with the spellcasting, but believe us - we've (re)read the books (six hundred times) - it's a wand or nothing. So whether we want to curse, jinx, hex, or bless - we're gonna need a wand to get it done. Now on to choosing ones... or, more specifically, having them choose us.
2. Riptide (Percy Jackson)
This is a weapon of disguise. And a weapon of disguise would be amazing, especially if you're somewhere dodgy, want protection and can't have a big-ass sword hanging from your belt. But how would I disguise a huge sword? Well, conceal it as a pen. Yeah, Percy was just as confused as we were.
Bless you, Percy. It's a sword made of Celestial Bronze, and can kill anything from monsters, Gods, Titan's and demigods. Basically anything that's not human. Although, in this world, it might not be useful, but you never know! Plus, clicking that pen and showing off your sword would be fun at parties, am I right? "Hey guys, check this out" *click* BAM. Big sword. It won't harm anyone, unless they're something of the magical sort, so no worries for harming any innocent people! Instant win. And it's also still useful as a pen because you always need a pen.
Also, I feel it's appropriate to mention the quote 'the pen is mightier than the sword' to this one because lol.
3. Anywhere Key (Locke & Key)
Admittedly, Joe Hill's Locke & Key isn't a book series. It's a graphic novel series. And admittedly, all the keys featured therein are nifty little tools to have at one's disposal. They're excellent for mayhem, debauchery, mischief, overlordship, and messing with people's minds. AKA my favorite passtimes. But being of a somewhat flighty and wanderlusty disposition, there's no key I'd love better than Anywhere Key - the one which, when inserted into a lock, opens the door to - you guessed it - anywhere you please. (Boy, will the Lannisters be pleased when I appear on the Iron Throne!)
4. Annabeth's Yankees Cap (Percy Jackson)
If you've not read the Percy Jackson series, and you're wondering 'why the hell is there a Yankees cap included in this list?', well, let me tell you, friend. It's an Invisibility Cap. Yes, Annabeth was given the hat by her mother Athena, and it became quite useful for her and Percy throughout the series. Just think how much mischief - I mean, how handy this would be in everyday life! Also, I think I'd be quite annoying with it too. On purpose. Hey, it's all for fun!
5. Time turner (Harry Potter) - joint pick
Image credit: Allteriel-Ally
I'm sure everyone in existence knows how a Time Turner works, and how goddamn useful that would be. Assignments would be on time, lives could be saved and you could get a lot of things done. I love that Hermione used it a lot so she could attend more classes, but let's be real. Who would do that?
I think having more time to read is something to be considered though...
6. Amplifiers (Grisha trilogy)
Image and design credit: HebelDesign
I mean, look, it's not that I want to take over the world or anything. It's just that I absolutely, totally want to take over the world and rule it with a firm hand, a stern expression and deadpan sass. So to have my (already established) magic amplified, as the name suggests, would be a dandy little tool to have on my way to world domination. And, as long as I'm picking, I'd like to pick the darkest of the amplifiers for my first. IfyouknowwhatImean. (If not, hey, I recommend the Grisha trilogy by Leigh Bardugo!)
7. Hovercraft (The Hunger Games)
This might be pushing it a bit, as we're saying Top 10 objects, but it's a Hovercraft. Can you just imagine how amazing it would be to have one? No traffic is certainly a plus, and this would trump anyone who thought they had the best vehicle. "Oh, you have a Mercedes? Cool, let me have a look at it from my hovercraft!"
When you think of the future, you think of this, so I have to have this on the list.
8. Kell's coat (A Darker Shade of Magic)
Image credit: Chofee
On the surface, it looks like a cloak. Inside, it also looks like a cloak. Just a completely different one. And each time you turn it or flip it over, you will find a brand new cloak inside. As one of the last Travelers between parallel dimensions, Kell is frequently in need of a change of clothes in order to blend in. As one of the last fashion-impaired-but-weirdly-accident-prone-magic-wielders-who-frequently-spills-potions, so do I. (Also, hey, you could wear anything! Dragonhide scales! A mithril-coat! A coconut bra! Think of the possibilities!)
9. Healing Cordial (The Chronicles of Narnia)
This one would certainly be useful - especially for me as I'm quite a klutz - so I couldn't not include a healing cordial. In the Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the Pevensies meet Father Christmas, and each of the Pevensie children (excluding Edmund due to his absence) are given a gift. Lucy received a healing cordial where one drop would cure any injury. Useful, right? Definitely.
10. Excalibur/Caledfwlch (The Sword In The Stone)
Image credit: PC wall art
Possibly it was forged in Avalon. Possibly it was owned by Arthur. Possibly it spews the sort of fire that's terrible to behold and eats human souls. Also, it comes with a promise of world domination, the Holy Grail, and a sovereignty over Great Britain. I see no down sides to this. (Also, my sword is bigger than your sword!)
Honorable mentions: The Mithril-Coat (Lord of the Rings), Thuribles (Daughter of Smoke and Bone).
If we are (nearly) late in posting this week's top 10... we may or may not have been too busy taking over the world. But, hey, we paced ourselves. Our very lateness testifies to the fact that we didn't use all the magical items at our disposal at once (see #5 - Time Turners).
Talk to us, lovelies. What magical/mystical/fictional/mythical objects would you love to get your hands on? And would you use them for good? After all, with great power... comes great overlordly potential.
TOP 10 FICTIONAL OBJECTS
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